So I went to Church tonight.. while my friend goes out right.. lol.. but its ok!
At Church we had an awesome sermon about going from a place of communion with God to a place where we fall from Grace. This sermon was really good and it fit so well with my life right now.. and I prayed hard that God would forgive me for the sins that I have committed recently.. sins against myself and against God. While I stood there listening to the Minister call for anyone who didnt know Christ and who wanted to get to know Him better, I was saying to myself, "why dont you make a call for all the people who want to get married and have to learn about themselves first..." But the Minister walked off the pulpit and that was that..
No sooner did I think "oh well, its not gonna happen".. God showed up and through another Minister called for all the people who "felt like they are not loved and who wanted love more than anything else in the world" and wow!! That was not exactly what I'd just asked for, but it was bigger than what I asked for!! Amazing!
I began to cry with my daughter in my arms cause I knew that the only thing I really want more than anything else in this entire world, is to be loved and to be able to love someone other than a sibling or a child.. I want to love a companion! The Minister called up an individual by name and told her that God wanted her to know how much He loved her.. and then the Minister said... "I know there is not only one person here... I know there are more.... not everybody, just the ones that felt lonely and in need of love" My God! How awesome you are! You heard me when I cried out to you... asking for the blessing of knowledge and comfort from Your Love, and You gave it to me... I handed over my daughter to my sister and I walked up to that altar, crying... and I got there along with others and sobbed my eyes out, because I knew that I felt empty inside.. I felt like there is nowhere in the world that I'd rather be than here right now. I cried and begged God to show me Himself.. I cried and said "Daddy please love me"... I cried and said "I need you O God" "I want only you" "Help me to want you and need you and find you, so I wont feel like I need anything or anyone else" ..... just when I cried "Daddy hold me", The Minister came up to me to pray for me and if he did, I didnt hear it.. instead he just held me and I felt the Father's touch and I started sobbing again. I couldnt stop sobbing cause I knew how I've been running love down ever since I've known myself and I want to stop.. I want to receive God's Love and know that it is all sufficient for me! I know that He loves me immensely and I know that He will grant my heart's desire of a husband and a family and I know that when that time comes, I would be so able to love them with all the love that God gives, because I would have already experienced God's Love!
How amazing you are my Heavenly Father!! I thank you and praise you God!! You are my everything and I love you!!
At Church we had an awesome sermon about going from a place of communion with God to a place where we fall from Grace. This sermon was really good and it fit so well with my life right now.. and I prayed hard that God would forgive me for the sins that I have committed recently.. sins against myself and against God. While I stood there listening to the Minister call for anyone who didnt know Christ and who wanted to get to know Him better, I was saying to myself, "why dont you make a call for all the people who want to get married and have to learn about themselves first..." But the Minister walked off the pulpit and that was that..
No sooner did I think "oh well, its not gonna happen".. God showed up and through another Minister called for all the people who "felt like they are not loved and who wanted love more than anything else in the world" and wow!! That was not exactly what I'd just asked for, but it was bigger than what I asked for!! Amazing!
I began to cry with my daughter in my arms cause I knew that the only thing I really want more than anything else in this entire world, is to be loved and to be able to love someone other than a sibling or a child.. I want to love a companion! The Minister called up an individual by name and told her that God wanted her to know how much He loved her.. and then the Minister said... "I know there is not only one person here... I know there are more.... not everybody, just the ones that felt lonely and in need of love" My God! How awesome you are! You heard me when I cried out to you... asking for the blessing of knowledge and comfort from Your Love, and You gave it to me... I handed over my daughter to my sister and I walked up to that altar, crying... and I got there along with others and sobbed my eyes out, because I knew that I felt empty inside.. I felt like there is nowhere in the world that I'd rather be than here right now. I cried and begged God to show me Himself.. I cried and said "Daddy please love me"... I cried and said "I need you O God" "I want only you" "Help me to want you and need you and find you, so I wont feel like I need anything or anyone else" ..... just when I cried "Daddy hold me", The Minister came up to me to pray for me and if he did, I didnt hear it.. instead he just held me and I felt the Father's touch and I started sobbing again. I couldnt stop sobbing cause I knew how I've been running love down ever since I've known myself and I want to stop.. I want to receive God's Love and know that it is all sufficient for me! I know that He loves me immensely and I know that He will grant my heart's desire of a husband and a family and I know that when that time comes, I would be so able to love them with all the love that God gives, because I would have already experienced God's Love!
How amazing you are my Heavenly Father!! I thank you and praise you God!! You are my everything and I love you!!
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