This morning started quite good... my little girl rolled over with a smile on her face when I woke her up and I was happy cause last night she didnt sleep very well. She seemed to have nightmares or something of the sort for the most part. So when she awoke with a smile, I was relieved that nothing was wrong with her.
That didnt last very long though! As soon as I told her that we are gonna get ready and go to the day care she began fussing. She cried and screamed and begged for me not to take her there. I tried to question her, asking whether something happened or not.. but being not yet three years old she's not as articulate as she could be for me to understand if there's something that would make her not want to go there.
I fought with her verbally and got her ready to go and she never stopped screaming. We got into a taxi and she cried and pleaded with me all the way to our destination. We got out the taxi and started to cross the street when she tried to pull away from my hand... I literally had to restrain her! This hardly seems like a tantrum to me... I need to investigate to find out if something is wrong and if someone did something to hurt my little girl.
Sometimes I wonder if my life will ever get easier!! I turned around, called another sister and walked over to her house four blocks away and left her there, much to her delight and comfort. Tears rolled down my face throughout our walk... I think its time for me to be happy and to be comfortable.. I think its time for God to show me a different life... one that is at least comfortable! Heck no.. I want to be happy! I am thankful for what I have, my kids, my sisters and their kids... the fact that I have an income in such a terrible economic time... the fact that I have one or two really good friends to listen when I need them to.. but I want something more! I want to be able to have the freedom to take care of my daughter myself... to drive her to school and not have to walk... to be able to reach to my work-place at whatever time I choose without having to wonder if I'm gonna be fired or reprimanded for coming late.. to be able to attend to my daughter's well-being!! These are the things I would love to have! I am not greedy.. I simply know and believe that I deserve better in life and somehow I believe that God has heard my cry this morning and is gonna give it to me soon!!! I am ready to receive it Lord!
That didnt last very long though! As soon as I told her that we are gonna get ready and go to the day care she began fussing. She cried and screamed and begged for me not to take her there. I tried to question her, asking whether something happened or not.. but being not yet three years old she's not as articulate as she could be for me to understand if there's something that would make her not want to go there.
I fought with her verbally and got her ready to go and she never stopped screaming. We got into a taxi and she cried and pleaded with me all the way to our destination. We got out the taxi and started to cross the street when she tried to pull away from my hand... I literally had to restrain her! This hardly seems like a tantrum to me... I need to investigate to find out if something is wrong and if someone did something to hurt my little girl.
Sometimes I wonder if my life will ever get easier!! I turned around, called another sister and walked over to her house four blocks away and left her there, much to her delight and comfort. Tears rolled down my face throughout our walk... I think its time for me to be happy and to be comfortable.. I think its time for God to show me a different life... one that is at least comfortable! Heck no.. I want to be happy! I am thankful for what I have, my kids, my sisters and their kids... the fact that I have an income in such a terrible economic time... the fact that I have one or two really good friends to listen when I need them to.. but I want something more! I want to be able to have the freedom to take care of my daughter myself... to drive her to school and not have to walk... to be able to reach to my work-place at whatever time I choose without having to wonder if I'm gonna be fired or reprimanded for coming late.. to be able to attend to my daughter's well-being!! These are the things I would love to have! I am not greedy.. I simply know and believe that I deserve better in life and somehow I believe that God has heard my cry this morning and is gonna give it to me soon!!! I am ready to receive it Lord!
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