Have you ever wondered whats the purpose of a roller coaster? I have! I have never liked those things.. I actually hate them and are terribly afraid of them. They take you up and you feel like you're on top of the world.. and then even though you know you have to go down sometime, you suddenly drop straight down and the pits of your stomach feel like they're gonna fly out your mouth!!!
I have been single for the last three years and honestly, I think I was contented being that way. But being contented is not being "happy, and I wanna be happy... and when I think about it, there is nothing more that I want in this physical life than to be married and have a man to love me and to be loved by me! I met someone and I felt like I really like him and I honestly do... he's sweet, gentle, understanding, a great father, hard worker, straightforward, stable in his finances, sexy, a great kisser... wow, I could go on... but in the couple weeks that we know each other, its been such a roller coaster ride that it makes me question myself if I should pursue this or not. I don't know if I'm prepared to go the distance with this ride!! Is it worth it? Do I want him or someone that much? The answer?
Yes it is!!
I want someone in my life so bad.. and in the past couple weeks I've been praying so hard for God to end my physical and emotional loneliness... and I believe that meeting this man has been the opening of a new era for me... a new journey in my spiritual and emotional life! God has been showing me my own weaknesses... lack of patience, lack of trust both in the physical and spiritual, easiness and readiness to enter into physical relations without care that it is not pleasing to Him.. Over the last two weeks there has been blatant revelations regarding my characteristics and things I need to do to work on them.. God has been working me and little by little He's opening me up to a whole new realm of myself... It's both amazing and scary at the same time... It's like being at the top of the roller coaster and at the split second of knowing that you're gonna go down.. the highs turn into fear... But eventually the ride ends...
I still hate roller coasters.... what I dont hate is what this ride is doing in me.... the strength and deepening of patience and trust... the respect for myself and reverence for God.. its all worth this ride! At the end of the ride, I would have regurgitated all the unwanted things that resided in me for all these years and I would come out of it a new person... a changed being.. a butterfly coming out of the cocoon... all from this roller coaster ride.. and the benefit of it all is that the man that I will marry, will be one heck of a lucky man!!
I have been single for the last three years and honestly, I think I was contented being that way. But being contented is not being "happy, and I wanna be happy... and when I think about it, there is nothing more that I want in this physical life than to be married and have a man to love me and to be loved by me! I met someone and I felt like I really like him and I honestly do... he's sweet, gentle, understanding, a great father, hard worker, straightforward, stable in his finances, sexy, a great kisser... wow, I could go on... but in the couple weeks that we know each other, its been such a roller coaster ride that it makes me question myself if I should pursue this or not. I don't know if I'm prepared to go the distance with this ride!! Is it worth it? Do I want him or someone that much? The answer?
Yes it is!!
I want someone in my life so bad.. and in the past couple weeks I've been praying so hard for God to end my physical and emotional loneliness... and I believe that meeting this man has been the opening of a new era for me... a new journey in my spiritual and emotional life! God has been showing me my own weaknesses... lack of patience, lack of trust both in the physical and spiritual, easiness and readiness to enter into physical relations without care that it is not pleasing to Him.. Over the last two weeks there has been blatant revelations regarding my characteristics and things I need to do to work on them.. God has been working me and little by little He's opening me up to a whole new realm of myself... It's both amazing and scary at the same time... It's like being at the top of the roller coaster and at the split second of knowing that you're gonna go down.. the highs turn into fear... But eventually the ride ends...
I still hate roller coasters.... what I dont hate is what this ride is doing in me.... the strength and deepening of patience and trust... the respect for myself and reverence for God.. its all worth this ride! At the end of the ride, I would have regurgitated all the unwanted things that resided in me for all these years and I would come out of it a new person... a changed being.. a butterfly coming out of the cocoon... all from this roller coaster ride.. and the benefit of it all is that the man that I will marry, will be one heck of a lucky man!!
No comments:
Post a Comment