So... my friend came back in on Monday evening, not Sunday as I thought. He called me as he got out of the airport to say he was back and that we would chat later. We did, later that night..for a short time but no decision came out and I didnt ask for one. I was just so happy he was back.
I went to see him yesterday and it was really awkward in the beginning. But when he realised that I was getting anxious he got right to it... he said, and I quote:
"Nicole, it should be easy to say that we have only known each other for a short time and walk away, but I've decided that I am not going back to my ex wife cause it just wont make sense. The kids are settled and happy the way they are and I'd like to leave it like that... and she and I are better off as friends.. we have a better relationship. I think I decided that since the day she asked me..."
I thought to myself "well then, why the heck did you go away?"
Almost as if he read my thoughts, he said, "I went away to make another decision... whether to get into another relationship or not.. my choice was not only between you and Kim but really you, Kim and nobody..."
My heart started sinking and I remember asking God in my soul "please give me a poker face" and reminded myself not to show too much emotion.
He went on to say "when I was over there, I realised that I missed you a whole lot... I wanted to talk to you and couldn't... I wanted to see you and it made me realise that I dont want this...whatever we have here, to end."
Inside of me, my soul did somersaults... I felt a leap of joy in my heart!
He continued without any interruption from me, saying, "I want to continue getting to know you and see where it leads, whether its nowhere or whether we get married by the end of the year, I dont know.. but I want to find out! and if you are comfortable with that, then we can proceed."
I was so happy at that moment, I could not believe that a prayer was being answered... to at least let me continue getting to know this man! But I have to believe and I have to know that God is in control of my life no matter what! He is a super-God and I love him!!
Thank you Father for bringing Carlon into my life and for giving me another opportunity at human love.. and I pray for the continued strength, patience and utmost trust in YOU O God... I pray that you will guide this relationship and allow us to become a true and living example of your Love and what you intended for marriage... In your Holy Name I pray, Amen!
I went to see him yesterday and it was really awkward in the beginning. But when he realised that I was getting anxious he got right to it... he said, and I quote:
"Nicole, it should be easy to say that we have only known each other for a short time and walk away, but I've decided that I am not going back to my ex wife cause it just wont make sense. The kids are settled and happy the way they are and I'd like to leave it like that... and she and I are better off as friends.. we have a better relationship. I think I decided that since the day she asked me..."
I thought to myself "well then, why the heck did you go away?"
Almost as if he read my thoughts, he said, "I went away to make another decision... whether to get into another relationship or not.. my choice was not only between you and Kim but really you, Kim and nobody..."
My heart started sinking and I remember asking God in my soul "please give me a poker face" and reminded myself not to show too much emotion.
He went on to say "when I was over there, I realised that I missed you a whole lot... I wanted to talk to you and couldn't... I wanted to see you and it made me realise that I dont want this...whatever we have here, to end."
Inside of me, my soul did somersaults... I felt a leap of joy in my heart!
He continued without any interruption from me, saying, "I want to continue getting to know you and see where it leads, whether its nowhere or whether we get married by the end of the year, I dont know.. but I want to find out! and if you are comfortable with that, then we can proceed."
I was so happy at that moment, I could not believe that a prayer was being answered... to at least let me continue getting to know this man! But I have to believe and I have to know that God is in control of my life no matter what! He is a super-God and I love him!!
Thank you Father for bringing Carlon into my life and for giving me another opportunity at human love.. and I pray for the continued strength, patience and utmost trust in YOU O God... I pray that you will guide this relationship and allow us to become a true and living example of your Love and what you intended for marriage... In your Holy Name I pray, Amen!
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