Hmm.. so my Friday night awesome! I had a very cool and relaxed date with a very nice guy! We went out to Karaoke and he was impressed with my voice.. we even kissed!
Saturday was a bit down cause I wanted to see my "new friend" again... but couldn't. Our commitment to our families will have to take precedent and we'll have to get used to that. Didnt do much on Saturday but relax..
Sunday was cool... with us taking some time with my sister and her adult kids... We spent the afternoon and evening near the ocean just hanging out, enjoying each other's company and watching some friends catch fish.
Now the good part.... Monday! I chatted with my friend for most of the day as usual... and many things were said. We had great conversation as we always seem to do. We actually planned to do something on Saturday and that's where the problem started. He made a suggestion and I questioned it... and he got upset. So upset that he seemed to have cut communication between us. I was disappointed. I felt let down, terribly. Not only by him but by my own judgment. I even cried. Why did I? Cause I felt like I'd let my guard down and allowed this man into my heart ALREADY even though I didn't want to.. but how in the world can a person turn his / her feelings off?? Is there some sort of dimmer switch on the heartstrings? Can we stop feeling something if we realise we shouldn't? I dont know about you, but that's the hardest thing for me to do. I just cant. I am the most passionate person I know... and when I feel something toward someone, I really feel it! There is no in between with my feelings.. Don't get me wrong... I dont love this man, but I really like him and I really want to get to know him better! And for that, I pursued the conversation and tried to get him to understand how I felt and to understand how he felt.
Oh well, I guess we'll see how it goes...
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