What do you do when you love someone so much and you know you cant be with him/her? What do you do with all the feelings that surface every now and then... deep feelings of longing for that person and for what you had with him?
After approximately three years of not seeing my daughter's dad, I close my eyes and I can still touch him... Unfortunate thing is, he actually belongs to someone else! Yes virtual world, I was in love with a married man! Please dont judge me, as I really believe we loved each other. I believe that he was stuck in a life that he really wasnt happy in and because of his son he did not want to leave. Okay, maybe I sound naive or even stupid.. but I know what we experienced and it has nothing to do with the physical. We were in love and loving each other.. I think we still do, but circumstances and situations have caused us to stay apart.. Whatever he's faced over the past couple years after telling his wife about me, he has had to overcome by staying there... or maybe he was too 'chicken' to do as he said he would and leave. Whatever it was, I dont know.
What I do know is that even though I know it was wrong, it happened and there is nothing I can do about it.. We have a daughter together, and sometimes, no matter how hard I try to forget him, the feel of his skin keeps replaying itself on mine... The words that he said over the internet and over the phone for months after we'd not seen each other, keeps playing over and over in my head like a broken record..
Why?? Why did I fall in love with someone who was unattainable?? Why cant I just forget that he exists and move along?? Why do I still hope and sometimes even pray (yes, I know God wont grant it cause its wrong).. for him to come back to me??
Why?? Cause I love him and because I love my daughter and I would love for her to experience his love too!!
Kocham Cie Luk.... my love for you will never die!
After approximately three years of not seeing my daughter's dad, I close my eyes and I can still touch him... Unfortunate thing is, he actually belongs to someone else! Yes virtual world, I was in love with a married man! Please dont judge me, as I really believe we loved each other. I believe that he was stuck in a life that he really wasnt happy in and because of his son he did not want to leave. Okay, maybe I sound naive or even stupid.. but I know what we experienced and it has nothing to do with the physical. We were in love and loving each other.. I think we still do, but circumstances and situations have caused us to stay apart.. Whatever he's faced over the past couple years after telling his wife about me, he has had to overcome by staying there... or maybe he was too 'chicken' to do as he said he would and leave. Whatever it was, I dont know.
What I do know is that even though I know it was wrong, it happened and there is nothing I can do about it.. We have a daughter together, and sometimes, no matter how hard I try to forget him, the feel of his skin keeps replaying itself on mine... The words that he said over the internet and over the phone for months after we'd not seen each other, keeps playing over and over in my head like a broken record..
Why?? Why did I fall in love with someone who was unattainable?? Why cant I just forget that he exists and move along?? Why do I still hope and sometimes even pray (yes, I know God wont grant it cause its wrong).. for him to come back to me??
Why?? Cause I love him and because I love my daughter and I would love for her to experience his love too!!
Kocham Cie Luk.... my love for you will never die!
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